Barnet Fair

Three days out and I'm absolutely shattered. Didn't want to stop though, never do. Met a load of people:


Sonia (gg) – who put her tongue so far down my throat that I thought she was going to come up with my dinner. Warning signs however. She seemed more interested in the contents of my bag than my gorgeous bod ha-ha. Be careful girl, the village is full of thieves.


John – a lovely man who said we have talked before but I can't remember. He complimented me on having the sexiest legs in the village and told me not to do anything to them. But what am I likely to do to them- amputate?? Actually they are too skinny .


Karen – long and serious chat who really questioned me deeply about my motivations and desires. She desperately wants hormones and can't wait change full time. She was in trouble when she was younger and still gets very angry within herself. She is hoping that the hormones will calm her down.


And Tina. Got to know her on Friday night and she came back to the hotel with me. Hanky Panky? As if. She wanted a wig – as did I so we agree to shopping on Saturday. I had planned on getting my ears pierced but a new wig is just as important. Earlier in the week I had tried a wig on in drab but you need make-up on to fully appreciate it so didn't buy.


So after a lazy Saturday morning we get dressed – Tina has long hair but it is thinning so she could definitely do with a wig. My wig has had it and is a bit passée now. We received advice the previous night from somebody who seemed to know an awful lot about it but didn't dress outside. We went to the pub for a couple of beers to loosen up and then walked along the canal path to Tina's flat, about thirty minutes away, so she could pick up some money.


Back out again to get a cab to take us into the centre. We end up standing on the roadside, Tina in black dress and boots, me in black miniskirt and patterned tights waiting to hail a cab. Cars were beeping their horns and people were making comments at us through the car windows. We looked like a couple of transvestite hookers. Eventually a cab came and dropped us off in the middle of Manchester.


Tina had never been out in the daylight before and I could see she was a bit phased by it. We had about a five minute walk to the wig-shop; and Manchester was packed solid. We got a few comments but nothing too bad. Two things I like about people's expressions: one is the little grin; they know you are a tranny but are glad they have spotted you, the other is a look of shock on some peoples faces as they get close to you and realise what you are. Tried one wig shop but struck gold at the second. Tina found a blonde wig for under £20, lucky cow. Mine was a bit more expensive and lighter in colour than my old one with flecks of red in it. Much more modern.


We walked back through the centre, Tina wearing her new wig, me carrying mine because I wanted some time to try to style it. We walked back into the village and, on a bit of high had a couple of drinks which is where the pictures are taken. That is Canal Street at the heart of the village. In the summer it will be packed but it was freezing that evening. One thing though, it is far easier to go out dressed with another girl than it is on your own.







Later we went and shot some pool, a first for me dressed and not easy. My fringe and necklace kept getting in the way then back to the hotel for some food and to get dressed for the nightclub. That was a step too far for me although I did try. Three days in a row out most of the night is too much. Tina, I had a great time and I hope you did too – and your wig is brill.


Other projects – two more weeks before I can book my next burlesque class (I missed one week with a bad ankle). My walk is really coming on as I spent most of the weekend in my ankle boots. So is my French manicure skills. I reckon by about 2012 I will be quite good at it!
Here's an interesting one. The possibility of getting filmed for the Internet in a marathon sex session. Not sure I'm ready yet and have not yet received a reply from the organiser so we'll see. May be able to get to Sheffield on Friday to try sorting out the netball team – though I've already picked up a couple of ringers. There are two gay pride events, one in Sheffield and one in Manchester which I want to attend and Sparkle too.



So busy times and interesting times.


Will take a while to get used to my new rug though!

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Why is it that I have spent fifty years of my life hardly noticing anybody wearing heels. When I've got them on myself however they click like drum beats and they are all I can hear.

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Tara, my dance instructor, recommended that I wore heels to practice my walk for burlesque. So I bought these really lovely kitten heeled ankle boots and have been wearing them with drab in the last couple of days. Another Tara recommended was to buy some decent eye-liner. £17.50!!! but it is good.

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Also bought three lovely dresses. A white sun dress for when the weather warms up, a dead slinky LBD (can now claim to be a woman since I have a little black dress) which will make its début next week – three days in Manchester YAY, YAY, YAY – and the pretty button through shown in the pic which I wore out on Friday. I am certain that both my dress sense and my make-up is coming on and I am becoming far more individual in what I choose to buy. Also bought some trousers for work but they were no good. Even I am losing weight, now only nine stone and I'm 5 foot ten. English size 10 is now too big for me; good news though is that I'm definitely a size 12 in dresses. Size 0 here I come, ha-ha.

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I am starting to notice girls who look like me. Tall, slender, dark-haired and sexy ha-ha. What makes them special? What makes them individual? How is their make-up complimenting them? What assets are they revealing? That is fun but I need to start talking to them as well. Things do seem to be tipping in that area as well. I am finding that I'm sharing a far greater affinity with girls everywhere – at work, on the train, in the shops. Maybe its because I'm much more open in my femininity and do not now try to hide it. It also helps that I notice things more and am willing to point them out; though I'm still too passive.

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I've finally lost all of my pairs of clip on earrings. They are just like socks! So next week in Manchester will finally get my ears pierced. I'm ready for it and my target date was June, so I'm not too far ahead of myself. Then I'm going to buy myself some really tarty hooped earrings ha-ha. Am aware however of how much work is needed and that you have to keep turning them to stop infection. Earrings and boots may be too much for work at this stage, not sure how I'm going to play it yet.

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Oh and I've sort of come out at work. Have told Kellie who doesn't work on-site with me but is very open and honest. Certainly our phone calls and emails are far more fun now she knows – and she thinks its brilliant that I have the courage to do it. She will help me. I have two girls on-site in mind to help me out further; can't just do it myself. The time has to be right and I must be ready. Maybe the week after next.

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Talking about being ready, I think I am nearly ready for a man. Not a man to have sex with, though he will be welcome to me whenever he wants, but a man to share in a relationship; to be there for, to look pretty for. Someone who is strong and will protect and care for me also. The big question is I suppose, am I enough of a woman yet? I suspect not quite but I am getting there!

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