Burlesque

This is definitely the most frightening thing I've ever done but has given me so much confidence and a will to go further still. Had to go to the club in drab without knowing what to expect. When I got there the main class was in progress. The club was only open for the burlesque classes so that was ok . There were six girls in fishnets, heels and panties practicing the moves (actually doing a fan dance which I would attempt later). I had to announce myself and why I was there. My class was an hour after theirs but I'd given myself half-an-hour to get changed.

Bought a beer from the bar and went to the ladies to put my slap on. Wore my gold flapper dress but no fishnets (Joanne had ruined them – see last post) did have some tights at least. Also six inch heels (but brought my gold flats as well, full make-up and jewellery. Water wasn't hot enough for a decent shave but did a good job and was pleased with how I looked. Went back into the hall as the previous class was finishing. The girls were all only half concentrating on the lesson because they knew I was there and kept checking me out. At the end though they all smiled at me, wished me luck and told me how much I would enjoy it. They were not at all phased out.

Met my tutor, Tara, who is lovely. She was obviously interested in me and transgendered people in general and we talked about it a lot. She complimented me on my look and loved my wig which, she said, looked so natural. I think she was just being nice. She told me that the girls on the class before knew I was coming and were not worried about it at all.
We started off with the fan dance but it became apparent fairly early on that I needed more flexibility to it properly but we persevered until the end so I know all the moves. After a quick discussion we decided that the burlesque would have to wait a while and we would concentrate on improving my femininity; so we worked on my walk, my posture and how I should sit and behave socially. One thing I didn't know was that when I walk I should slightly cross my legs as I stride which opens up my hips. The other thing was the confident stride, heel first then toe. Not at all easy in six inch heels! When I sit and am talking to someone I should cross my legs at my ankles and lean slightly forward engaging them with my eyes. Again very difficult for someone who has been brought up to lean back and slouch.

Finally we did exercises to improve my suppleness and posture. I have been given homework and need to do these exercises for a month before making another booking. The exercises are based around strengthening my calves, thighs and ankles to help with wearing my heels; loosening my hips to help with my walk and strengthening the top of my spine to help with my posture.

All this time we talked about clothes, make-up and other feminine traits. Tara recommended that I spend some money on a good eye-liner and told me the best shops to go to find tailored clothes which would flatter my figure. She, like me, is very slim. Just a lot more elegant.

I loved every minute of it but must now practice hard for a month.

I can't wait for my next lesson.

The Mother and Daughter of it

What a good sissy I was at the weekend. I brought a young sissy back to my hotel room and let him dress in my clothes. I opened my suitcase and he was in seventh heaven. I showed him what to do and, after I had finished styling my wig on him, it seemed I was looking at my own daughter. He is only 24, his name is John, and sadly he is very much in denial. He would not let me take a picture.

I offered him the chance to go out dressed in public on Easter Monday but he declined. Just do a quick dress-up he said. So he quickly got everything on again and just as quickly took it off before going to his parents for lunch. I tried to get him to give me a girls name for himself but he wouldn't. Still, he had a few hours of my time and my experience. I have his phone number filed under Joanne and have texted him to say that I am there when he needs me. I hope he does and I hope he doesn't make the same mistakes as I did at his age. We'll see but I bet he will.

Introduced a Swiss Miss to cockney rhyming slang; had a furious political debate and was very glad that Tricia is a socialist who cares about people, not companies. Went out dancing two nights in four – club doesn't shut until four so its almost impossible for a wrinkly like me to do it all the time. Went out dressed as an obviously sissy male with full female clothing (girls jeans, top, coat,and my lovely new kitten heeled ankle boots) no wig but fairly unsubtle make-up and lashings of perfume. One guy made a bee-line to me to sniff that I was wearing the perfume so that obviously worked. Apart from that spent three whole days dressed. I loved it to death.

Interesting discovery. I have raised my kids until I have sixteen year old twins and a nineteen year old daughter. Was talking about this to a group of people in the gay village when one of them said. “You have done what most people in the village dream about”. I've never thought of things like that but I love all three immensely even though the twins are a bit aggressive with me at the moment because they can't understand it. I will never let them down though!

Met Daphne who is an elderly but professional sissy (can we be that?) She dresses at home, catches the bus, comes to the village and has fun. What do people say?
“There goes Daphne out enjoying herself again”
Nobody cares because everybody knows. So brave of her but she's through it. Good on you Daphne.

Oh John, Joanne, or whatever, just think! Be true to yourself!

Next entry when I get time – my first burlesque class – aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggh.

But I did it :)

Walk on the Wildside

Early Evening in a Manchester Pub

The football has just finished on the television at my local. The pub is now quiet and it will be an hour or so before some more of the girls arrive. I am quietly reading the paper fully dressed and made up as in the picture. An elderly, respectable man comes and sits opposite me. He has a few sips of his half and smiles at me. Being a good sissy, I smile back expecting him to start a conversation. He gets up and moves to the table on my right, and sits now diagonally opposite me. He takes a few more sips of his half. He smiles at me again, I smile back. He motions with his eyes for me to look below. I look down and he is busily playing with himself. He ejaculates, zips up, finishes his half, smiles again at me and leaves the pub. Not a word was spoken, and it lasted about five minutes.

Early Morning in a Manchester Club

It is about 3:00 a.m. in the club I always finish at. I am tired as its my second night out and am ready for bed. I go to the cloakroom to pick up my coat and head back to my hotel. A man passes me as I am putting it on. He picks up a suitcase and asks me to guess what's inside. I'm not very inspired and can only think of clothes and sports items. What else do you carry around in a suitcase for goodness sake? I give up. He opens up the suitcase which has been custom made. Strapped inside was a glove puppet.

And it was the sexiest glove puppet I've ever seen!

And the coloured girls go Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

French Manicure

Aaaargh. Now I know full well I'm no Vincent Van Gogh but doing a French Manicure is too difficult for a sissy like me. Will require loads of practice. You can probably just pick them out in my pic.Anyway, met my latest crush last night. He is a really lovely man who deserves everything he can get in life. Trouble is, I'm not sure he'll go out and get it. I need a man or woman who can dominate me both inside and out of the bedroom. He is not that man sadly but we'll keep in touch.

Was v.v. brave sissy and went out tonight for the first time without my boobs. I bought this lovely see-through blouse but really needed a navy or black bra to go with it. Silly girl didn't pack one, and realised too late as the shops were shut (so much for the capsule wardrobe). Where did my feminine intuition go!

It seems apparent now that the Estrevon is changing me, but only slowly. I think that is definately for the best. I would love now to be the finished article but half the fun is getting there. I am now definately looking more and more about what girls are wearing. I always did up to a point but now I'm more critical. What looks good on a girl may not work with me. I'm noticing the smaller things as well. Nails, rings, make-up subtleties e.g. where to position the blusher, the best mix of colours beween eyes and lips; and am starting to experiment more. Bought this fab mascara which even makes my eyelashes longer and I love my lipstick primer. It opens up my lips so I can easily coat them. Also bought some miracle concealer - I'll let you know if it works.

Never got to mention the Pagan Priest from last time. Was getting chatted up by this quite attractive guy but he was dissing other people which I don't like. So I looked away, like you do, to no-one in particular, with a disgusted expression on my face. Anyway this bloke suddenly appears from nowhere shouting things like Shalagooch, Alrazabin, Biggulch, I don't know, and making expressions with his hands against the guy who just laughs it off. He was putting a Pagan curse on the poor guy. Anyway he tells that i must follow my true course and that I was beautiful.But then we all are aren't we? Good fun though.

Lovely thing happened tonight after boyfriend left to rest his back. Actually, and sadly, it was not my fault that he had a bad back, he got it earlier in the week. Met this gorgeous pre-op transexual who looked similar too me. Tall, slim, long dark hair and long legs. Two guys come up to us and start dancing. They assumed we were sisters! Apologised to Tanya afterwards but she thought it was a real giggle and we called each other 'sis' for the rest of the night.

Big question now. Do I want to fully transition? Do I want to be a woman?

Little answer. Yes, I think so, but its tearing me apart.

Hugs all