Alter Ego

If the previous post was hard, this is well nigh impossible. I wasn't sure whether to include it at all but after chatting to Gina last night (thanks hon and get out there girl, or you'll never know and will regret) realised its importance. Part of the purpose of this blog is to help trannies everywhere and this will I hope explain why I am a transvestite. I am not transsexual or a cross dresser. So a deep breath and I'm just going to type away and see where it goes ....... ouch!

I am very proud of my other self who is called Iain. He is caring, kind, honest, trustworthy, open, considerate and principled. I suspect he is a somewhat nicer person than myself. He works hard with little reward and adores his family. I suppose I should say that for letting me into the world, but I do believe it. In some respects we are as different as chalk and cheese. He is a deep thinker who worries and churns things over in his mind for days, whereas I act on the spur of the moment. He is very quite and shy whereas I am much more open and up front. I am struggling to properly express this at the moment having been locked in Iain's psyche for so long but I know that over time this will change. He couldn't care a jot about what he looks like (hardly surprising as he wants to look like me) whereas I am obsessed with it. I love reading the fashion magazines and websites, he prefers serious newspapers and novels. I suppose he is complex and I am flippant. He cares too much about the world; I know I care too much about my appearance.

We do get on very well but I have noticed that the more Iain allows me into his life, the more our qualities merge and I think this is a good thing, it makes us both more flexible. Most of the time it is correct to ponder before making decisions but sometimes you have to just do it, you have to immediately choose which way to go; I come into my own then. I also notice that sometimes at work Iain will send cheeky emails (sshh actually its me!) that are a bit risky or I will come out and make a cheeky or camp comment in the most surprising circumstances. I need to be careful though, I don't want to harm him. We do have our little battles, and for the time being Iain is winning most of the the important ones, at least from a moral perspective. For example, I would like Iain's picture on this post, because I want to be open and honest. Iain has forbidden me however because he wishes to protect his children and his job. I guess that makes him a bit more of a realist. I am well aware that my head is sometimes in the clouds. I think this may change and it will be interesting to see if it does. If Iain's picture ever does appear here you will know that I have totally taken control.

I suppose you are wondering why Iain has let me into his life, especially since I am so proud of him. Well I'm afraid he had no choice. For years and years he thought he did but ultimately he did not. You see sexually, as a male, he is completely inadequate. He cannot perform on top at all, and even when he's underneath he needs me to help him out (the poor darling). I contain more than enough sexuality for the both of us though. I have been a bit naughty and started sleeping with men, (I really enjoy it) and he seems to have accepted it, another example of how we work well together as a team. So I suppose you could say that sexually I am completely in the ascendancy, and I always will be.

So there you have it, my other side, my better side?, my Iain, I love him to bits and don't want to hurt him or his close circle of family and friends,

I'll let him get on with his work now,