Supression

Oh just look at my muscles - what a hunk! Bet you frightened of me!

So I left university, started a job in computing and threw myself into sport, particularly cricket, and beer. I was trying to cover up what was inside, trying to be macho (ha ha) and to some extent it succeeded. Men would treat me as one of them but as soon as I met a woman, she read that there was something different about me. I have more of an idea why now. I didn't think, kiss or act as any other man she had met before (not surprising). I was in no way the predator she was used to and was desperate for her to take control. It was extremely difficult for me to get past a first date - and as for sex? Not with me anyway.


I did get one or two chances to dress up, at themed parties - but the ache I felt when I took off my clothes and make-up hardly made it worthwhile, added to that I looked awful. So I suppose in my mind at the time I was succeeding but I had no clothes of my own and wasn't particularly happy. I moved into a flat with a mate, a wonderful guy who knew nothing then but does now and is so scared, so the opportunities became less and less. Under the bedclothes however things were getting quite a bit more fun. I couldn't resist the tranny phone lines which were available at the time and love to read about tranny's in newspapers but couldn't bring myself to buy a tranny magazine. I was learning about my submissive side.


Then I met the girl of my dreams, trying desperately to forget the fact that I was the girl of my dreams. We knew each other as friends earlier so the transition wasn't too hard. I was very much in love and did think that I had got rid of the biggest burden of my life. Inside me I was determined to make it work. Sex was so difficult though, as soon as I got on top there was nothing there. We managed, thanks to her determination, and eventually produced twin girls to go with her other daughter. So I had a ready made family and I was WAS going to be a Father to them. I still love them to bits. Sexually things went downhill after the twins were born, though I wouldn't describe it as a particularly steep decline. I did play the dutiful Father and feel my femininity helped in bringing them up. I was and still am much closer to them than most men manage. So I was stuck in a rut. No dressing, no clothes, much love for my children; but many many thoughts deep down which were getting more and more erotic. I'm amazed it hasn't worn away!